Friday, July 26, 2013

Tyler January and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Yesterday was the WORST. I'm generally really excellent with keeping myself grounded, and having an even mood even when surrounded by shitstorms and assholes. The one thing I can't stand the most is negativity, or negative people, and yesterday I was one of them. Which didn't help my mood either. So happy that today I am feeling so much better, LARGELY in part to the fact that I'm not forced to starve myself for the sake of 3 consecutive blood draws. Here's yesterday in bullet points (which actually starts the night before) so I can vent, bless, and release.

  • Start fasting at 7pm Wednesday night to prepare for blood draw Thursday morning. 
  • Watch my loving family enjoy my favorite pizza and beer while I eat ice cubes and frantically clean house to distract myself from hunger pangs.
  • Wake up feeling nauseated from not eating the night before
  • Cough back vomit while I brush my teeth, just like all first 4 months of pregnancy
  • Drive to birth center, learn that I'm not just getting one blood draw after two hours, but i'm getting THREE blood draws.
  • Get first blood draw with my "fasting blood." Pick up disgusting sugar drink that must be consumed in 5 minutes.
  • Drink it, and immediately cough back vomit. Can't throw up, then I have to do this all AGAIN. Hope I don't have GD.
  • Feeling hungry, spacey, nauseated, and irritable without my coffee or breakfast (or dinner). 
  • Feel proud that I remember to bring snacks to centering for the group, and pick up breakfast tacos for everyone (again that I can't eat for another 2 hours)
  • Forget my notebook, and ipad in the process- as I've volunteered to be the group's note taker. I'm ALWAYS the prepared one! This pissed me off... no time to go back home.
  • Get to birthcenter, and get them to give me a pad of paper for notes. 
  • 2nd blood draw. One more hour to eat. Convinced I have GD, and there's nothing I can do about it. Still nauseated. Irritable. Everything is annoying me at this point, trying to breathe, and just be a part of the group. Jocelyn is kicking ALL kinds, which I interpret as her Morris code for FEED ME!
  • Listen to our centering discussion which focuses on "FEARS" (great more negativity)... holding onto the fact that at the end of this class we are going to practice some relaxation exercises to try and get me back on a more positive mindframe. 
  • 3rd blood draw, and I can eat!!! But I know that if I have to pass ALL THREE tests, there is no way I will pass, convinced I will "Fail," told not to say "fail," but say, "Not Pass," as if that changes the fact. Tacos are cold now, but at least its food.
  • Talk about tearing and episiotomies. I ask how many stitches are generally needed (1-2?), and the answer is evaded, so I ask again (so 5-6?) evaded again, and finally the third time (so 10?! I have no idea and just want the answer!) and am told there are two layers of stitches. 4-6, and 4-6. Great, instead of relaxation let's end on a thought about torn and stitched vaginas after birth. hahaha.
  • Run out of time at centering, do not do any relaxation exercises. Feeling grumpy. Centering ran over schedule as well, have to rush back home to get to work
  • Drive home pour some coffee. Want to socialize with Pam, who is going back to stay with her god daughter that night, and realize I have 3 minutes to eat the boul of muesli I've poured myself, before I have to jump back in the car and drive to work. 
  • Work, is well work. Enough said on that front.
  • Target pharmacy calls to say Rx for heartgard for dogs is (finally) in, but only for Holden, Zombie's wasn't in the system. Great. Get them to fix that, will pick that up next day.
  • Go to pick up the Rx. 
  • Go home, feed dogs, and give their meds. 
  • Go to H&M to buy a shower dress, and realize the worst place to go when you are cranky (and me) is an annoying major fashion retailer with music that is just a series of annoying bass beats and repetitive mindless shit. Everything also smells like really fake chemical perfume. 
  • Try on about 12 "loose" pretty dresses, 2 fit. Buy both, feel like I should have just gone thrifting instead.
  • Get back home and start to get stressed about having 30 people over to our house the day after tomorrow. Start trying to clean as much as possible, and end up sweating as much as possible in our 85 degree house. 
  • There is just so much to do, and not enough time (or energy) after the work days - I can see why mamas like to have their showers at someone else's house, and have someone else take care of all the planning haha. But I was doing my best and got to these:
    • Organized Office best I could, so it at least looks like orderly chaos
    • vacuumed in there, and recharged my camera battery
    • washed all our sets of guest sheets for our weekend visitors
    • Folded and put away laundry
    • I fixed our master bath toilet (that Jason couldn't fix, said it kept running). 
  • Learn that some of our overnight guests might be arriving Friday rather than Saturday, and get stressed because I won't be home until close to 7 after work and Jason probably not until 8, and then we have plans to hang out with Pam at the movies (which most likely will not be kid friendly). 
  • Still feeling grumpy, irritable, and out of whack from the fasting, and nerves about my glucose test results. 
  • Try to breathe, and stay light-hearted, and appreciate the last minute RSVPs that I learn about, and feel thankful that I made extra party favors, and that some of my friends are flaky so some might not show so there will be enough cheese cake for everyone. 
  • Take one look at my husbands clothes on the floor RIGHT NEXT to his TWO laundry baskets and all my attempts to breathe and relax are again destroyed with my irritability. I don't say anything to him, but huff and puff around the house trying to keep my cool, but its 100 degrees and I'm a sweaty mess. 
HAHA. So... after all that, I finally put myself down into bed, and can't fall asleep until midnight (two hours after i usually fall asleep), because my mind is racing with agitated energy. 

I'm happy to say that today I DO feel so much better, and regardless of barely getting any sleep last night, not fasting makes SUCH  a difference. Not only is it cruel to me and my babes, but for the Husband to have to suffer through my Ty's Mania Devil dance. Such a good sport, even with my attitude he knows just how to say the right lame pun joke to perk me up, and when to keep his mouth closed and just let me have my freak out space. Thank you Jason!

 I am SO happy its FRIDAY and that tomorrow is our party and we can just relax and have FUN finally! Just about everything is done in preparation. I still need to go pick up our cakes on my lunch break today, then, get the heartgard at target that wasn't ready yesterday, bathe the dogs, and mop our floors, and dust (so much zombie hair). Still not sure if our other guests are coming into town tonight or not, or what our plans even are with the movies tonight... Jason seems like maybe that might not happen after all? I have no idea what's going on, haha, but its okay :) I'm letting myself be okay with that. Jason's sis was also sending us some party favors for the shower - some candies, which still haven't arrived, again - i'm just relaxing and breathing, haha, but luckily I made all the other favors, so if they don't make it to our party, it was a nice thought at least, and I'm sure we'll be able to find someone to eat them (since I can't have sugar - and I'm most likely going to die of GD - HAHA ugh GD. I know its not that big of a deal if I have it, just one more thing that I have to try not to worry about). 

Regardless! It's Friday! GD or not, i'm eating my damn cheesecake tomorrow! And I have a super cute party dress! Yoga tomorrow morning will also be my salvation. Trying not to stress about all the clean up I will have to do after the party. Hoping someone will help, but trying to be okay with it if no one does. I also was so excited about all my presents for my guests, that I forgot I will have presents to open! haha Liz, reminded me, so we can schedule that part of the party in there somewhere before the cake. Thank you Liz! So thankful for you and Chenoh's help! I know that I bought all the thrifted dishes for the party so I could donate them afterwards, but maybe what I need to do is smash them afterwards instead. HAHA, that sounds really satisfying. If I had a gun, maybe shoot them. HAHA (how Texas is THAT). Okay, maybe not all of them, that sounds wasteful, but maybe just a few. 

Today is a better day! Can't wait for party time tomorrow, relax and chill and live it up with a bunch of buddies! YES!


  1. Transition is going to be a breeze comparatively...

  2. Haha, Thanks Mom! I love you!!! You're definitely here in spirit today at our shower, can't wait for October!!