Today's yoga was awesome. Feeling so restored, and balanced. Belly's getting bigger, and my spirit is getting stronger in anticipation of the months (and years) to come. Feeling like I am exactly where I need to be right here, right now. It feels so good to stretch, and breathe. Yoga is my absolute favorite.
Today we did a kundalini meditation, and also a full shavasana, which felt so good. This class was pretty active which I also enjoyed, and this time when we went around the room and introduced ourselves and how far along we were, we mentioned one thing that we are planning to pack in our birth bags. I was first, and admitted I hadn't thought of what to pack yet, but know that I will bring my own music. I also think I will bring my large chunk of moonstone (for good fortune in birth, fertility, and wisdom that we bought for Jocelyn as soon as we found out we were pregnant), and my large chunk of labradorite (for intuition and higher power). We discussed how important it is to have something to focus on while laboring, to concentrate and redirect your mind and energy while experiencing strong sensations of labor. My moonstone, and my labradorite have a lot of beautiful colors and luminescence in them, so I think they will be helpful to look at and meditate on while breathing and will carry that much more significance for me after birth.
We also discussed how during labor there is a lot of waiting, so while some folks planned to pack champagne (especially when large families would be attending), and just about all of us said music, our instructor told us to also remember to pack games, puzzle books, something to read, and something to DO while you wait between contractions (which can be hours and hours of waiting). Good advice! Also to remember to pack a swim suit for the birth partner, since he probably will want to join me in the tub or the shower most likely, and it can be easy to forget to bring a suit, then he will be in there with me in wet clothes- which isn't as comfortable. Especially if standing in a shower for 2 hours is what my body tells me feels best.
What was also cool about today's class, was that the majority of mamas there, were 15 weeks or less, so I was one of the few women showing a bump. I remember when I was in those early stages of pregnancy, and couldn't wait to really show and looking admiringly at the women at the birth center, or at yoga who looked so beautiful and so far along. Its exciting to be surrounded by other women going through this same process, in different stages of pregnancy, to look forward to, and to look back on. Time has really been speeding by now, and I know that soon enough I will get to hold my sweet girl in my arms and finally look into her eyes. See her smile, hear her cry, and feed her when she's hungry. Get to know her personality and show her the world, and introduce her to our animal family. Getting closer and closer to our due date, I need to start thinking about scheduling our appointment with our dog trainers to come to our house for our "meet baby" session. Tara is so awesome, and has helped Zombie (and Holden) so much in her rehabilitation and training, and we totally trust her to help us learn how to have a baby in our house full of big dogs. I think that what she'll focus on is showing us how to assert our boundaries, what is and is not okay around baby, and how to introduce her into our home (with curious dogs) after she's born. I just know that our pups are going to make her laugh so much! Not really sure how our cats will react with her, I'm sure Molly will be mad at me when Jocelyn steals her spot in bed under my arm. But she'll have to get over it.
Two more boxes arrived of my sister in law's handmedowns, and even though I already went through everything on Skype with my mom, going through it all again with my own hands made me realize how TINY everything is! She's a LITTLE baby!! I think I squeaked, and giggled more times than Jason has ever heard me squeak or giggle in the decade that we have been together. I also proclaimed, "WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!" about a dozen times to him, which Jason finally started to respond to with, "Oh WOW! I had no IDEA!" haha. Oh gosh. I just am so excited, I feel like my little heart is going to explode holding those tiny clothes and imagining her in them. A BABY! We're doing this!
Today we had Home Depot installing the carpets on our stairs and upstairs hallway. They brought the wrong underlayment I guess while I was at Yoga, and Jason luckily noticed and had them go back to bring the expensive, scotch-guard thick memory foam, antimicrobial stuff we already paid for! Nice try folks! With our dogs we wanted to be sure to get the nice stuff, especially in case of accidents. They came back with what we ACTUALLY ordered and paid for, and have been putting the carpets in for the last hour or so. Watching them do it, I'm glad that this is a project we hired someone to do for us, rather than do ourselves- seems way too complicated to get done right if you've never carpeted stairs before. So stoked, we finally have that piece of our house puzzle finished! As much as we've enjoyed seeing and walking on painted plywood (haha at least its been better than the old carpets that we had and I immediately ripped out), I'm happy to have this project done (and this time without any of our own blood, sweat, or tears). Holden approves as well:
Last night I was dreaming that I was watching Jocelyn push my belly out, and move it around like I've been doing now every night after dinner when she gets her Fosse kicks and Jazz hands going, but in my dream I could see her feet, and her little ankles, and knees push through my skin. Haha it was so funny and strange, and Jason told me I was dreaming that probably because she was kicking in my sleep. Sometimes she kicks so much while I sleep she wakes me up, this time her moves just made me dream.
Two more weekends after this one, before our baby shower! I'm so excited its ridiculous. I really didn't think I would go this nuts for it. Not only will it be a chance for us to hang out with all our (mostly local and some very special out of town!) buddies one last time before becoming full-time parents, but in our home where we've been working so hard to get ready for baby. I'm so happy we're having it here, especially since we never had a house-warming party, since we had such a long, endless list of things to do first to make our home ours, before celebrating it with our friends. I also feel like having something to look forward to before Jocelyn arrives is helping keep me grounded, less anxious/impatient for her birth-day, and break up the time before she arrives into easier, little chunks. Plus it will be the first time to really just celebrate her! And this life change for all of us. So excited! I'm excited to put together and have our party favors for everyone, and for the games and food. It should be a lot of fun.
As for my body, I've started to feel what I think are my first slight, normal contractions. My midwives said that contractions can start as early as 20 weeks, and are totally normal, they are just your body's way of adjusting, and figuring out how to prepare for labor. They many times go unnoticed when they happen early in pregnancy, until after 30 weeks or so they become more noticeable and then are called Braxton Hicks contractions (not actual labor contractions). The midwives said, if they happen more than 5-8 times within an hour and are very painful and less than 5 minutes apart from each other- that's when we should contact someone. I've felt some strong sensations in my lower belly that last for about a minute at a time, and then go away. This has only happened 2 or three times, on different days, but definitely unlike anything else I've felt before. Not sure if they are actual contractions, or if its just my stomach stretching/pulling away from my muscles to make room for baby.
If you're squeamish, maybe you don't want to read the rest, but this is my place to record my body's changes, and birth is very personal and full of bodily functions and I'm not ashamed, I'm celebrating it all. That said, you've been warned. This morning I also noticed, that I woke up with leakage from one of my boobs. It wasn't very much, but I had a noticeable wet spot on one side of my tank top. I read that some women can start lactating as early as 30 weeks, so I'm not worried about it, but this is also something I'm going to ask my midwives about on Thursday- in particular during my Centering appointment so the other women can have that question answered in case anyone else has experienced early lactation or leakage, or if they were wondering when and how their milk will come in.
As for the rest of the weekend, I'm looking forward to kicking back. After having our day of rest of the fourth of July, I was reminded how awesome it can be to do absolutely nothing, especially after all the go-go-going we've been doing lately. Next week I also not only will have to work extra hours to make up my time out for centering, but I have Jury Summons on Tuesday, which should be interesting. I'm hoping it doesn't last too long, and like every other time I've been summoned that the case is dismissed before actually having to assemble a jury. I guess I'll just have to wait and find out.