19 Weeks

Its finally, FINALLY fall. The mornings are dark when we wake up (when Joss comes up to my bed and tells me, "Get up, its a beautiful day!") and this morning we saw a beautiful and eery overcast pink sunrise where everything outside seemed to glow. Thanks to the storms rolling through, we actually got some cool weather this weekend, today with thunder and lightning bringing our temps down to high/mid 70s. Before the rain started pouring we got out into our backyard for these 19 week pics, and Joss collected some interesting leaves that fell around our yard. There really is nothing quite like a thunder and lightning storm here. The baby has been especially kicky today, maybe all the thunder is shaking them up like it shakes all the bones of our house.

This Friday we find out gender, getting ready to shuffle our deck of name cards a bit more seriously and weigh in on our favorites. In yoga and meditation, I'm still focusing on letting go of fear. Feeling the baby kick more and more helps me feel more connected and relaxed into knowing that my body is working hard to do what it needs to do, without me needing to think about it or do anything but just breathe, and trust that I am enough (you know aside from everything else I'm doing to take care of my body, nutrition, health, wellness...).

Still hard to believe that this second baby is REAL, especially after our previous miscarriage was such a hard loss to get over. But baby is strong, and we are healthy, again letting go of fear is something I keep reminding myself this time around. All of the movement also makes this baby more real, and I've been trying to imagine more and more my day to day moments with another little person here with us, while we drink our morning tea and coffees, painting, going out to eat, dancing with or without music, watching cartoons, listening to the rain outside, cleaning house and cooking dinner, bath time, bedtime, all our routines adding in another family member. Trying to picture it more and more, and know that everything again will change again after baby's here. And trust that everything is working as it should, and will fall into place when the time is right.

Also hard to believe this pregnancy is already almost to the halfway mark of 20 weeks, remembering to breathe and slow down as much as I can.