Today I went to Yoga, and it was so great to get to class and see everyone there. At this point heading to the classes on Tues/Thurs nights after work just seems like too much, and so last week when I wasn't at those night classes after work, a lot of my girls thought I had my baby! It made me realize how much I will miss all of them, and am so thankful for Saturday's class, as I still have enough energy to get there. Today's class felt so good. Such a loving, supportive community of women, I really feel so thankful to be a part of this experience at the birth center. I miss Sara the Thursday night instructor, but I am looking forward to heading to her post-natal yoga classes after baby is born, after I'm all healed up (6 weeks after labor). Cat today told me that she signed up to be called when I go into labor to assist, which is so awesome! I was hoping she would be there, her energy is so great, she's been such an amazing support, and source of strength and love throughout my pregnancy, I was hoping somehow she would be there with me, but didn't really know how to ask, and if she could- with her schedule. So awesome! She also told me that I can come by class after baby's born (a couple weeks after healing) to share my lil one with the other mamas, since we've all become so close and that when I was out last Tuesday night (and then also on Thursday) everyone was asking about me. It makes me feel so loved, and supported to have these women around! And I would love to bring lil Jocelyn in to see everyone she's been stretching with, after she's on the outside with us.
After yoga, I got going with the tamales and made dozens of them that are all freezing up nicely in our freezer, along with another dozen burritos that I whipped out as well, with some of Jason's homemade pinto beans, and homemade spanish rice.
Feeling like everything on our list is checked off, and now we can just settle back and relax, and await her arrival. The only last thing that I have on my list of to dos, is to train the new girl at my office, who starts on Monday. I plan to continue to work full time all next week with her, to help train her, and to also finish out the work week for a full pay-period, but really at this point, Jocelyn arriving at any time between now and then feels like the right timing- if that's what she decides. For the last several months I had also been writing a full binder of all the processes of every aspect of my job, so even if I don't make it back to work on Monday, the new girl still has about 100 pages of instructions on everything I do haha, yes, I know I am completely ridiculous. My bosses didn't even ask or expect me to do any of that, but its just who I am. If I feel I have a responsibility I put my mind to it, and give 100%, 100% of the time. Which is why I am so excited for motherhood, and raising a healthy, confident, intelligent, caring, happy, strong, peaceful, and compassionate young child into the beautiful human being that I'm sure she will be - with the ability to make her own choices in life, and do what she loves and aspires to become.
Every night I've been dreaming of her birth and holding her in my arms, and last night I dreamed that when I gave birth to her, she came out of my mouth- haha. But she was totally perfect, dark hair, and I immediately knew when she asked me to feed her, just by looking at her eyes, and we nursed, and it was natural and perfect, and I realized that I am now a mom. It was such an intense, strong feeling of just being exactly where I need to be, the right time, the right place, like everything was just as it should be - that's the best way I can describe it.
We have also decided on her middle name! Which, like her photos, we have decided to keep private. But its a great one, that we both like a lot and it took some time, but we found it, and its all her own. Speaking of photos, after skyping with my mom, she said, "But Ty, all your readers should at least get ONE pic of her after she's born!" Haha, and Jason and I have agreed that we are okay with having her picture taken and posted (on blogs/facebook/instagram) as long as her face isn't in the picture. So most likely a photo of her in my arms bundled up, a picture here and there of her perfect little fingers and toes, may appear from time to time, but we do want to keep her privacy as much as possible. That being said, we cannot wait to meet her, and for all our family and friends to meet her, so sooooooon. xoxox!
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