We always spend way more than we intend to when we go to Costco, and today it didn't help that we forgot we had to renew our membership. Oh well! Pantries are now completely stocked, tubs of mixed nuts are stashed under my night stand ready for midnight snacking while I'm up around the clock nursing, what little room was left in our freezer is now full of frozen organic fruits and berries for our smoothies.
I've been feeling more cervical twinges, and pre-labor symptoms, but no active labor yet! Tomorrow I will see the midwives, and get an internal exam to how much (if any) I am dilated, and how much further down she's dropped since last week. Its also my step brother's birthday tomorrow, Happy birthday Josh! Libras rule!
I train the new girl tomorrow as well, then after that I will play out the rest of the work week, full time as usual to continue to help with training, and then take it from there... Since Jocelyn's due date is on the new moon, its possible that regardless of all the mental preparation I've been doing to be okay with going against "The Plan" she might be completely right on plan after all. Haha, my mom said for us two girls we were both born on new moons, and my brother was born on the full moon. We'll see when Jocelyn decides its her time.
We also received a couple more last minute additions for our labor necklace, that I've tied on from Grammy Pam, and are now completely fully equipt, and ready to go into action. Birth bag is locked and loaded in our car, in her carseat. All pre-made foods are frozen and ready for Jason to grab to take with him to the birth center to eat while I labor, and then keep us easily fed after she's born and we are sleepless zombies.
Liz also called today which was so great to hear from her! She's so sweet, and said that she knows we're getting close, and asked if there was anything we needed. I told her we were all set with baby supplies, birth bag, frozen foods etc, and as soon as I started to tell her we don't need anything, I remembered the midwives in centering reminding us to accept all help that's offered after birth, that we will appreciate and really need it! So instead of the usual polite, "no you don't have to," that I'm accustomed to saying whenever anyone tries to help out or give me anything, I rewired my brain to accept her offer, and said, "The only thing I can think of needing help with is after she's born having enough food, since I know we will be hungry zombies." And of course, Liz is the best! She said she was thinking of making us a vegan casserole, and also thought about making us a bunch of individual smoothie packs with fruits/berries etc, since she remembered how into my daily smoothies I've been throughout pregnancy (and before for that matter). Its not instinctual for me to allow other people to help me do- pretty much, anything. Since I was super young, I've always just fell back on relying on myself and my own skills/hard work to do everything - from finding my own sense of happiness, to buying my first car, and I'm just now learning in my 30s, that if help is offered to welcome it! So I'm not only completely grateful to have friends like Liz offer her help, but also proud that I've letting myself open up enough to let others help out. So stoked for the Austin vegan community, and for the Austin Area Birth Center community to get involved with and meet awesome friends, and to give and receive support.
Really excited for tonight's series finale of Breaking Bad, and hoping to get a good night's sleep. Its been harder and harder to sleep much, but I know that my body needs to rest as much as possible before labor. 10-15 trips to pee in the middle of the night doesn't help, but I'm trying to think of all this interrupted sleep as the dress rehearsal to around the clock nursing. It will all be a lot easier when I'm not tied to a full work load outside of the house. I know that having a baby will be hard work, but honestly, this is the kind of hard work that is so completely fulfilling, satisfying, and truly work that is something to be genuinely proud of, in love with, and happy to build the best possible future for. Careers are great too, and I'm sure there will be more time in my future to work on that, but right now, I so looking forward to the rewards of all the hard work that goes into being a new mom. Are we there yet???