Happy Autumn Equinox!

38 Weeks

 We so looking forward to meeting our lil pumpkin, its so hard to believe that we can almost countdown her due date in single digits (we will be able to in just a couple more days). This weekend, after I got home from yoga, we took our last birthing class together, at the birth center (again totally free - included with our birth center fees, SO awesome to have these resources available!). It was the "Birth in a Nutshell," class, that I thought was 1-4pm, but turns out it was 1-5:45pm. So we were there for most of our day yesterday, but did go through some partner massage and relaxation techniques during labor that will surely be helpful (during labor or any time really), and also went over some of the Bradley method basics (The Bradley Method is sort of what's replaced "Lamaze" classes for anyone who isn't familiar). We also went into depth of all the stages of labor, to help us "prepare" or well, haha sort of. Mainly the take away message is that you can't really prepare for your birth, since every birth story is totally different, every body is and every baby is different and there are always exceptions. But knowing what a lot of others have experienced, and what some have experienced, helps us learn more about what is possible, and what might be helpful. For me, all through pregnancy what's helped me is just being as open minded and accepting about all of the experiences, and embracing them all with love and meditating that this is a small piece of time in my life, its my experience, and I am perfectly capable to get through all the challenges, and for that, to take the great (and the challenging) moments, and stay as peaceful and accepting as I can be with all that comes- to remember to stay in the present.

After our class yesterday though, Jason summed it up really well as we were leaving, he told me, "So basically we took a 5 hour class that told me what I already know- that all I can do is be there to support you, and be sure you're comfortable, and as relaxed as possible, and that we don't really know anything [Don't know when she's coming, when you're going into active labor, or what to expect]."Pretty much, haha. I will say though, that for me, taking advantage of these classes, meeting and talking to other first time, and experienced parents, the experienced doulas and midwives who teach and facilitate, makes me feel more like a part of a community, and more confident in my own upcoming birth. I know also that my family makes fun of me, for going to a Breastfeeding class, a Cloth Diapering Class, all the Centering classes, and everything else I do to prepare myself for parenthood- But I would like to remind them that since I never thought I would have kids pretty much for the first 3 decades of my life! I never put any thought into any of it before. Also being the youngest sibling, I never had to change a baby's diaper. EVER. I still to THIS DAY, have NEVER changed a diaper. I was never around babies, never held them, never really baby sat. So if there is a free class to go to, a book to read, I will be there!  That's just who I am, and I want to be the best that I can be at this mothering thing, and put myself out there to meet other people and make friends who are also having babies, so I don't feel completely isolated as I shift from being a workaholic to a stay at home mom for the first year or so, especially with both sides of Jocelyn's extended family so far away. I will say though, that knowing how some of the moms that are going to these classes with me, have parents that also make fun of them, but not in the (I'd like to think) loving way my family does, but because their families and parents come from conservative Texas backgrounds that are just not open at all to midwifery care, natural birth, water births, formula-free babies, and eco-friendly diapering at all. Those women who are in these classes with me, are so empowering to be around. I so completely admire their strengths in that they are actively choosing their own birth story and experience, and doing what's best for their own bodies, minds, souls, and new families. Nothing but love and support for you sisters and mothers! <3 <3

SO, after Jason was struggling to figure out the carseat in the backseat of our car, and unsuccessfully calling Amazon to try to do a return/exchange before baby arrives (which in reality could be any day now), we had a "make it work" moment, and were able to fit the seat into the back of our car by this mama's shear will power and determination. Its a really tight fit, and she's not in the center of the backseat, but is behind the passenger seat- but we got it to work. We also were even able to still have room for someone fit in the front seat (which is pushed so far forward to accommodate the HUGE carseat we have, but still it works). So that's taken care of! No last minute exchange and panic freakout anymore! Her seat is buckled into the car, and ready for her. Thank goodness. I also put away the rest of her clothes, and cleared off her changing table that had tons of books on it, so we can actually use the table to change her. We also installed her co-sleeper to our mattress, so that's all set for her to sleep in with us, and be right by mama all night for around the clock nursing. Jason cooked a big batch of chili re-"fried"-beans (not actually fried), and I'm going to assemble 3 dozen burritos tonight for us to freeze and have ready for easy lunch and dinners after she's born. I also wanted to make a bunch of tamales this weekend, but with yesterday's class running so long, I just didn't end up with enough time. If she decides to keep holding out on putting her mama into labor, I'm hoping I can make tamales next weekend. We shall see! My mama will be here soon enough too, and help us with some of the meals so we will be set! At least for the first month or so.

I also made a new batch of post birth frozen pad ice-packs, this time without any water on them, I just put a little bit of witch hazel on each, wrapped them back up into their wrappers, and put them in the freezer, so they shouldn't all come out as one HUGE ice block haha. I also put the tucks pads in the fridge, and also the rest of the bottle of witch hazel to have ready to use, and be cool and soothing. Some mom's choose to use depends after their births, as they will bleed heavily and have other post-birth leakage, but I think that my 1950s, huge, over-sized pads will be enough, in team with the "puppy pads" that I'll sleep on for the first week or so. Basically its a large plastic sheet, with super absorbent, disposable "cloth" on top... used to help potty train puppies... Sleeping on those will help those first few days/weeks and be sure to keep my sheets and mattress pad/mattress protected. I'm not worried about post-birth recovery, but I think it is important to talk about and be open about - especially on a blog that is dedicated to a first time mom figuring out a first time pregnancy and birth experience. Its all about reducing that stigma, and hopefully to help other new moms by sharing what I've learned. I don't think that I would be comfortable in a depends, so I'm just going to use the huge pads, but since I had never heard that before, I think its good to share, and who knows, maybe witch hazel soaked, frozen depends will be my favorite post-baby thing EVER... haha I'm open to it! Whatever works to help regain that sense of comfort, and healing. No shame in the game.

Okay, time to wrap some Burritos! And then watch Dexter and Breaking Bad!!! Excited for my weekly midwife check up tomorrow, things are happening so sooooooon! xoxoxo