I had my first junk food craving and it was FIERCE. I was hard core craving licorice this weekend. It could have been any kind of licorice, Twizzlers even. Black, Red, Panda Brand, or Cheapo Junk- anything. Since we don't really eat junk food or sweets and I couldn't convince my health-freak husband to buy some for me a few blocks over at Target, I remembered I had a bunch of left over Halloween candy that I didn't hand out last year that I was saving for this year's trick or treaters. The closest thing I had in that stash was Dots. So I ate one small box of them, and it was not even close to what I was hoping for, and they just stuck to my teeth which lead to me obsessively flossing.
That's the other thing, I'm really into oral hygiene right now. Like if there were happy hours for tooth-brushing and tooth-picking I'd be there. Though that sounds kind of gross to do socially, but I could care less. This is what has momentarily replaced my love of pinot noir. I've always loved the dentist (again shout out to Colleen! the only other person I've known to love going as much as I do, BFF forevs forevs!), and since I started my new job I no longer have dental coverage, so I've been taking extra good care of my teeth. What I learned though is that when you are pregnant your gums are highly susceptible to bleeding. So weird. And its true. I never have had a problem with bloody gums, but I've noticed pink spit a few times after brushing my teeth (not just after eating pink dots).
I love flossing, and I love these little rubbery tooth picks I got at Costco that even came with a cute little travel case that I keep in my purse. They are sort of an addiction, but it feels so good to keep my teeth and gums clean. I also think that anyone without a sonicare toothbrush is missing out big time. We had the oral b before the sonicare diamond clean we have now, and there is no comparison. Seriously I'm sort of obsessed. Perhaps because I'm using licorice toothpaste.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
But is Breast Milk Vegan?
I've already heard this question a few times (being pregnant or not), and I'm sure I'll hear it a few more times in the coming months. In case any of you are interested this is my answer to the question, "Is Breast Milk Vegan?"
I do not think of animals as food. Since I was very little I've felt strongly that animals were my buddies and didn't see them as a food source. I became vegetarian after watching Charolette's Web and realizing what the meat industry was. My earliest memory of this connection to animals, is when I was 2 years old and screaming at the top of my lungs for the stray Cat I named, "Nona" (after my mom's tap dance teacher) to "COME TO MEEEEEEEE!" My 2 year old self didn't understand that rationalizing with (or screaming at) Nona would gain her affections. At that point I was still learning English, and wasn't well versed in communicating with cats and animals like am I now. Don't worry I'm not digressing here.
Not seeing animals as food, but as living, breathing, sentient beings who feel pain, feel emotions, love their babies and families, is not how most people initially or intuitively see animals. A lot of people may deep down understand that connection, but many times choose to ignore it because they "love bacon," or just want to feel they are more important as a species. If you love bacon, go raise your own pigs, kill them yourself, and butcher the meat yourself, and eat it. If you still, "love bacon" at that point, I will at least have some more respect for your choice (though the thought of that to me is completely revolting and I would never EVER kill another living being on purpose- in particular for my own gain - which I think a lot of meat eaters when faced with it feel the same way), but most people don't want to see the suffering. They choose to ignore that, and just see the animals as a means to an end- as food. They, "know" about the slaughter houses, but they don't want to see the blood. They'd rather see the McNuggets or whatever. Most people. Remember I'm generalizing here.
As a vegan, am I against dairy milk completely? Am I against mother cows giving cow milk to their babies? Of course not. Its not that dairy should never be seen as a source of nutrition, or as a food source, its that I don't believe its a natural food source for people - especially for people who take advantage of their power over another living being, and exploit that power for selfish personal gain. Seeing the animal as a commodity, I feel is morally wrong, and I don't think its a good way to live life. Mothers should only give milk to their babies.
So breast milk? Is it vegan for me to feed my baby as nature intended, and as I see fit for my own child to be nurtured with what I'm naturally endowed with for the sole (heh soul) purpose of feeding him/her? Am I exploiting myself to nourish my baby? Am I not consenting? Do I feel like there is an unequal balance in the power dynamic where one part is not seeing the other as a living/breathing/sentient being capable of feeling pain, emotions and love? Absolutely not. Which is why I don't see breastfeeding as having anything to do with being or not being vegan, because being vegan isn't "just a diet"- Its not, "oh no milk! run away!" Its a deep set of moral and philosophical perspectives on living without harming others (physically, emotionally, spiritually...) to the best of our abilities.
Covering my baby in fur and leather is not vegan as much as someone breaking into my house and stealing my breast milk without my consent and selling it for their own gain without any respect or acknowledgement of me as a living being with emotion and who experiences pain. That's when breast milk is not vegan. Haha. Yuck, right? Get it?
I do not think of animals as food. Since I was very little I've felt strongly that animals were my buddies and didn't see them as a food source. I became vegetarian after watching Charolette's Web and realizing what the meat industry was. My earliest memory of this connection to animals, is when I was 2 years old and screaming at the top of my lungs for the stray Cat I named, "Nona" (after my mom's tap dance teacher) to "COME TO MEEEEEEEE!" My 2 year old self didn't understand that rationalizing with (or screaming at) Nona would gain her affections. At that point I was still learning English, and wasn't well versed in communicating with cats and animals like am I now. Don't worry I'm not digressing here.
Not seeing animals as food, but as living, breathing, sentient beings who feel pain, feel emotions, love their babies and families, is not how most people initially or intuitively see animals. A lot of people may deep down understand that connection, but many times choose to ignore it because they "love bacon," or just want to feel they are more important as a species. If you love bacon, go raise your own pigs, kill them yourself, and butcher the meat yourself, and eat it. If you still, "love bacon" at that point, I will at least have some more respect for your choice (though the thought of that to me is completely revolting and I would never EVER kill another living being on purpose- in particular for my own gain - which I think a lot of meat eaters when faced with it feel the same way), but most people don't want to see the suffering. They choose to ignore that, and just see the animals as a means to an end- as food. They, "know" about the slaughter houses, but they don't want to see the blood. They'd rather see the McNuggets or whatever. Most people. Remember I'm generalizing here.
As a vegan, am I against dairy milk completely? Am I against mother cows giving cow milk to their babies? Of course not. Its not that dairy should never be seen as a source of nutrition, or as a food source, its that I don't believe its a natural food source for people - especially for people who take advantage of their power over another living being, and exploit that power for selfish personal gain. Seeing the animal as a commodity, I feel is morally wrong, and I don't think its a good way to live life. Mothers should only give milk to their babies.
So breast milk? Is it vegan for me to feed my baby as nature intended, and as I see fit for my own child to be nurtured with what I'm naturally endowed with for the sole (heh soul) purpose of feeding him/her? Am I exploiting myself to nourish my baby? Am I not consenting? Do I feel like there is an unequal balance in the power dynamic where one part is not seeing the other as a living/breathing/sentient being capable of feeling pain, emotions and love? Absolutely not. Which is why I don't see breastfeeding as having anything to do with being or not being vegan, because being vegan isn't "just a diet"- Its not, "oh no milk! run away!" Its a deep set of moral and philosophical perspectives on living without harming others (physically, emotionally, spiritually...) to the best of our abilities.
Covering my baby in fur and leather is not vegan as much as someone breaking into my house and stealing my breast milk without my consent and selling it for their own gain without any respect or acknowledgement of me as a living being with emotion and who experiences pain. That's when breast milk is not vegan. Haha. Yuck, right? Get it?
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Tattoos, Belly Laughs, and Weird TV
So I've had a lot of strange dreams since I've been pregnant, but none of my dreams have really had anything to do with babies or childbirth until last night. Last night I dreamed that I was in labor, and when the baby came out, she had a tattoo on her stomach that said, "FEMALE." She also had a little curly-q mustache. This still makes me unsure if we're having a boy or a girl, even though everyone else seems to think that we are having a girl.
Speaking of tattoos, its really disappointing to not be able to get more ink when you are (by that I mean when I am) pregnant. I feel like my half sleeve isn't done yet, and being the perfectionist I am, I can't bare to think that I have to wait another year+ to complete it. Again, so much waiting haha. Rough life, huh?
As per a recommendation of one of my Austin buddies I met through the vegan community, I bought Jenny McCarthy's, Belly Laughs and read it yesterday on my kindle in about an hour. Its a quick read, and really effing hilarious. Even though her stance on pregnancy and child birth is the extreme opposite of my own, it was a fun read. She only ate junk food aside from, "one apple" the whole time she was pregnant because "health" food made her nauseated. She didn't want to feel anything during the birth and got the full epidural so she was numb from the waist down. She didn't believe in breast-feeding and so she didn't do it. All completely the opposite of how I feel, but I could still relate to her book on a lot of levels, and regardless it was really fun to read her experiences, how she dealt with her symptoms and worked her relationship with her husband during it all.
It really makes me want to express how much I respect everyone's choice to have their babies in their own ways. I mean for me? I would never do the things that she did- but that's because I'm not her. Her choices are what worked for her, not me. Even though I am strongly opposed to not breast feeding your baby, and don't understand why any mother wouldn't breast feed, doesn't mean that I'm any better because I choose to do it. I don't have to understand other people's choices, but as I've learned as being a vegan surrounded by a carnivorous world, people may do things I completely do not understand and would never do myself - but generally I can still relate to others on some level regardless of how different they are from me. Being as open minded as I can be, I feel like I tend to learn more and grow my own beliefs even stronger- hopefully in the process, perhaps I can help others open up their own views a little more by not just interacting with people who are all, "just like me." Where's the challenge and gain in that?
So because I abnormally wake up at 7am every morning- even on the weekends, while my whole house stays in bed till 11 or 12 (this isn't a pregnancy thing, its just me)- I get bored sometimes. I've worked on beading projects, tried to write more, read more, croquet, and do chores around the house but lately with my drop in energy and feeling tired all the time (even though I still don't know how to sleep in) I've started watching TV in the hours before everyone wakes up.
Today I watched about 5 or 6 episodes of, "I didn't know I was pregnant." Watching this show I assumed it would be full of overweight women who didn't care anything about their health and were so out of touch with their bodies that they didn't know. But surprisingly, a lot of the women were average sized, and most of them didn't experience strong cravings, nausea (ugh bitches haha), or put on more than a little weight. So weird to me. How can you NOT know?! Immediately I knew, because my boobs hurt and got huge, so we bought a test before my period was even supposed to happen and BAM. Positive test. All the heaving, back aches, lack of energy, and my belly growing like crazy even though I'm primarily eating fruits and veggies. Not to mention NOT having a period! Some of the ladies say that their periods were so irregular they didn't think much of it, or they had spotting which they thought was their regular period. But man, so odd to me. In a way it makes me kind of envious though too, how nice would it be to just skip to the end, and BAM here's your baby! 9 months of pregnancy condensed into a couple hours. TV is weird.
Anyway, here's some photos of me at 17 weeks <3
Speaking of tattoos, its really disappointing to not be able to get more ink when you are (by that I mean when I am) pregnant. I feel like my half sleeve isn't done yet, and being the perfectionist I am, I can't bare to think that I have to wait another year+ to complete it. Again, so much waiting haha. Rough life, huh?
As per a recommendation of one of my Austin buddies I met through the vegan community, I bought Jenny McCarthy's, Belly Laughs and read it yesterday on my kindle in about an hour. Its a quick read, and really effing hilarious. Even though her stance on pregnancy and child birth is the extreme opposite of my own, it was a fun read. She only ate junk food aside from, "one apple" the whole time she was pregnant because "health" food made her nauseated. She didn't want to feel anything during the birth and got the full epidural so she was numb from the waist down. She didn't believe in breast-feeding and so she didn't do it. All completely the opposite of how I feel, but I could still relate to her book on a lot of levels, and regardless it was really fun to read her experiences, how she dealt with her symptoms and worked her relationship with her husband during it all.
It really makes me want to express how much I respect everyone's choice to have their babies in their own ways. I mean for me? I would never do the things that she did- but that's because I'm not her. Her choices are what worked for her, not me. Even though I am strongly opposed to not breast feeding your baby, and don't understand why any mother wouldn't breast feed, doesn't mean that I'm any better because I choose to do it. I don't have to understand other people's choices, but as I've learned as being a vegan surrounded by a carnivorous world, people may do things I completely do not understand and would never do myself - but generally I can still relate to others on some level regardless of how different they are from me. Being as open minded as I can be, I feel like I tend to learn more and grow my own beliefs even stronger- hopefully in the process, perhaps I can help others open up their own views a little more by not just interacting with people who are all, "just like me." Where's the challenge and gain in that?
So because I abnormally wake up at 7am every morning- even on the weekends, while my whole house stays in bed till 11 or 12 (this isn't a pregnancy thing, its just me)- I get bored sometimes. I've worked on beading projects, tried to write more, read more, croquet, and do chores around the house but lately with my drop in energy and feeling tired all the time (even though I still don't know how to sleep in) I've started watching TV in the hours before everyone wakes up.
Today I watched about 5 or 6 episodes of, "I didn't know I was pregnant." Watching this show I assumed it would be full of overweight women who didn't care anything about their health and were so out of touch with their bodies that they didn't know. But surprisingly, a lot of the women were average sized, and most of them didn't experience strong cravings, nausea (ugh bitches haha), or put on more than a little weight. So weird to me. How can you NOT know?! Immediately I knew, because my boobs hurt and got huge, so we bought a test before my period was even supposed to happen and BAM. Positive test. All the heaving, back aches, lack of energy, and my belly growing like crazy even though I'm primarily eating fruits and veggies. Not to mention NOT having a period! Some of the ladies say that their periods were so irregular they didn't think much of it, or they had spotting which they thought was their regular period. But man, so odd to me. In a way it makes me kind of envious though too, how nice would it be to just skip to the end, and BAM here's your baby! 9 months of pregnancy condensed into a couple hours. TV is weird.
Anyway, here's some photos of me at 17 weeks <3
Friday, April 26, 2013
Patience and Patients.
Two things on my mind today: 1. Exercising being patient. and 2. Being considered a Patient.
Recently my mom told me, "You look so beautiful and happy with your belly right now- but I can't wait for you to be so big and miserable you just want that baby out of you! And that will only be 7 months, and then you will have to wait 2 more! Haha." Thanks Mom. Being big through a Texas Summer is going to be interesting, but right now that sounds better than nausea.
The truth is, I already want so bad to hold the baby. There is so much waiting involved in pregnancy and I'm probably one of the most patient people I know. We still have to wait a few more weeks to find out the gender, which has been the longest wait of my life (it feels that way). It feels like I scheduled that appointment months ago and we're still waiting. Ugh. Haha.
I understand that everyone says once they are born they just grow up so quick. I can relate with how quickly our puppy grew up, he was small(ish) for barely any time and before we knew it his puppy days were long gone. So I'm trying not to rush time- also because it doesn't work. Just have to go with the flow and appreciate every moment good and bad for what its worth. There is also so much that we still need to do before the baby comes- especially since we're out here all alone with no family around to help us out, that I keep reminding myself that all this extra time we should really be grateful for. I still am sick of waiting though haha.
The other thing I've been thinking about is hospitals. So many women CHOOSE to go the hospital route with birthing their babies (I'm not talking about women who had to deliver in a hospital for health issues, or complications that led to that), but that having a baby in a hospital is appealing to some women. They choose the hospital birth. Its so odd to me. There is nothing wrong with us when we are pregnant. We are not sick, (ha funny I should be saying that with all the barfing I've been doing). Having a baby isn't an illness, its a natural course of life that to me should have the women's body leading the way and not drugs, or clocks, or knives, or unnatural body positions.
There are bills in Texas (and other areas) that are trying to stop funding for Texas Birth Centers and its ridiculous. Birthing Centers with midwives, and doulas, are totally normal, totally common in England- because it makes sense to have someone trained in child birthing, not dissecting cadavers deliver new babies. Doctor-doctors also just freak me out, I sort of feel like they are all sociopaths (no offense to any friends that may be doctors! haha). I just feel like its another right that woman should stand up for and protect, that our bodies are not our enemies, that we love the skin we're in and trust it to know what to do without shooting up toxins and paying MDs to "cure" us of our babies. If you don't really know much about birthing centers, and are thinking about having babies, I would recommend you educate yourself about the benefits of opting for a non-hospital birth (if at all possible) because the benefits are countless. After watching, "The Business of Being Born," maybe some "hospital mamas" will change their minds.
Recently my mom told me, "You look so beautiful and happy with your belly right now- but I can't wait for you to be so big and miserable you just want that baby out of you! And that will only be 7 months, and then you will have to wait 2 more! Haha." Thanks Mom. Being big through a Texas Summer is going to be interesting, but right now that sounds better than nausea.
The truth is, I already want so bad to hold the baby. There is so much waiting involved in pregnancy and I'm probably one of the most patient people I know. We still have to wait a few more weeks to find out the gender, which has been the longest wait of my life (it feels that way). It feels like I scheduled that appointment months ago and we're still waiting. Ugh. Haha.
I understand that everyone says once they are born they just grow up so quick. I can relate with how quickly our puppy grew up, he was small(ish) for barely any time and before we knew it his puppy days were long gone. So I'm trying not to rush time- also because it doesn't work. Just have to go with the flow and appreciate every moment good and bad for what its worth. There is also so much that we still need to do before the baby comes- especially since we're out here all alone with no family around to help us out, that I keep reminding myself that all this extra time we should really be grateful for. I still am sick of waiting though haha.
The other thing I've been thinking about is hospitals. So many women CHOOSE to go the hospital route with birthing their babies (I'm not talking about women who had to deliver in a hospital for health issues, or complications that led to that), but that having a baby in a hospital is appealing to some women. They choose the hospital birth. Its so odd to me. There is nothing wrong with us when we are pregnant. We are not sick, (ha funny I should be saying that with all the barfing I've been doing). Having a baby isn't an illness, its a natural course of life that to me should have the women's body leading the way and not drugs, or clocks, or knives, or unnatural body positions.
There are bills in Texas (and other areas) that are trying to stop funding for Texas Birth Centers and its ridiculous. Birthing Centers with midwives, and doulas, are totally normal, totally common in England- because it makes sense to have someone trained in child birthing, not dissecting cadavers deliver new babies. Doctor-doctors also just freak me out, I sort of feel like they are all sociopaths (no offense to any friends that may be doctors! haha). I just feel like its another right that woman should stand up for and protect, that our bodies are not our enemies, that we love the skin we're in and trust it to know what to do without shooting up toxins and paying MDs to "cure" us of our babies. If you don't really know much about birthing centers, and are thinking about having babies, I would recommend you educate yourself about the benefits of opting for a non-hospital birth (if at all possible) because the benefits are countless. After watching, "The Business of Being Born," maybe some "hospital mamas" will change their minds.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Rocky Road
Pregnancy is HARD! I mean I don't want to sound not excited, or ungrateful- because I'm totally both! Very excited, and very grateful. But man this can be rough.
I thought it would be all eating vegan ice cream and pickles (two of my favorites), and getting huge boobs, and having a holiday where I can paint something obnoxious on my huge belly.
I will have fourth of July, so I might just have to paint on some stars and stripes, but I barely can stand pickles which is so weird for me, and ice cream really isn't interesting at all. I also have had to buy all new bras, which is not as fun as it sounds. I bought them at Costco, and am not ashamed.
Not only that- but I experienced my first tidal wave of hormonal freak out, mixed with a panic attack (?). It started by me crying uncontrollably at the fact that I cannot currently pick up a bag of 30lbs dog food on my own and didn't want to ask for help. That lead to my spiraling out of control in a tornado of sobs, and hyperventilated breathing. Totally unable to follow through on what I had to do that night, which was call our neighbor to help pay for the new fence he's installing on our property line.
My husband, who was working (from home)- poor guy didn't really know what to do, but was there for me the best he could be, and offered comfort to his crazy pregnant wife between phone conversations with his Microsoft client while he put his headset on mute. After like a half hour, I was finally able to calm myself down, breath more "normally," and had the instinct to call my mom and ask her if that's "normal"? To feel batshit crazy, and be THAT emotional over "nothing."
I then talked myself out of it (not outloud, haha I'm not that looney... not yet as least), because I didn't want to worry her, and I also realized, that I didn't need anyone to tell me that it's "normal" to freak out, or to cry (which I rarely do). I could hear my thoughts in my mom's comforting voice tell me, "No, that's not normal, but its okay. Its YOU. You are perfect, and we're all a little mad around here." Which made me feel better.
Sometimes a good cry is what is needed to wash out the jitters and stresses that I don't realize are actually building up and shouldn't be kept pent up. I also realized today, after getting some sleep and starting fresh, that yes, I miss my family back home, I wish I could be going through this with them near us, for them to be a part of our daily lives. I realized that I have a lot of daily stresses with work, with working on the house, Holden's health problems, and just life, but I'm so grateful for all of it, because all of it is my own to experience. Its not always easy, its really fucking hard sometimes, but that's okay. Its not all bad. At least I didn't throw up today!
I thought it would be all eating vegan ice cream and pickles (two of my favorites), and getting huge boobs, and having a holiday where I can paint something obnoxious on my huge belly.
I will have fourth of July, so I might just have to paint on some stars and stripes, but I barely can stand pickles which is so weird for me, and ice cream really isn't interesting at all. I also have had to buy all new bras, which is not as fun as it sounds. I bought them at Costco, and am not ashamed.
Not only that- but I experienced my first tidal wave of hormonal freak out, mixed with a panic attack (?). It started by me crying uncontrollably at the fact that I cannot currently pick up a bag of 30lbs dog food on my own and didn't want to ask for help. That lead to my spiraling out of control in a tornado of sobs, and hyperventilated breathing. Totally unable to follow through on what I had to do that night, which was call our neighbor to help pay for the new fence he's installing on our property line.
My husband, who was working (from home)- poor guy didn't really know what to do, but was there for me the best he could be, and offered comfort to his crazy pregnant wife between phone conversations with his Microsoft client while he put his headset on mute. After like a half hour, I was finally able to calm myself down, breath more "normally," and had the instinct to call my mom and ask her if that's "normal"? To feel batshit crazy, and be THAT emotional over "nothing."
I then talked myself out of it (not outloud, haha I'm not that looney... not yet as least), because I didn't want to worry her, and I also realized, that I didn't need anyone to tell me that it's "normal" to freak out, or to cry (which I rarely do). I could hear my thoughts in my mom's comforting voice tell me, "No, that's not normal, but its okay. Its YOU. You are perfect, and we're all a little mad around here." Which made me feel better.
Sometimes a good cry is what is needed to wash out the jitters and stresses that I don't realize are actually building up and shouldn't be kept pent up. I also realized today, after getting some sleep and starting fresh, that yes, I miss my family back home, I wish I could be going through this with them near us, for them to be a part of our daily lives. I realized that I have a lot of daily stresses with work, with working on the house, Holden's health problems, and just life, but I'm so grateful for all of it, because all of it is my own to experience. Its not always easy, its really fucking hard sometimes, but that's okay. Its not all bad. At least I didn't throw up today!
Friday, April 19, 2013
Riding the Waves of the NauSEA
I threw up yesterday. So apparently not done with the morning/all day sickness. At least I have an appetite again, as the nausea isn't as bad when you have more food in your stomach. Luckily most of the food aversions are gone, which also helps with this, but here are my tricks to fight off the constant urge to purge (especially since I'm still working my usual 45-50 hour work weeks, with an hour commute before and after).
MORNING:
MORNING:
- Keep water crackers in your night stand drawer Eat 3-4 crackers before moving your head to a vertical position- while still on your side on your pillow. Sitting up too quickly will make you vomit.
- Don't brush your teeth first thing like you usually do, because you will just have to start all over most likely in about 10 minutes after coughing up bile.
- Don't take your vitamins until after breakfast. If you don't eat breakfast normally, now is the time to start forcing yourself to.
- Don't use peppermint toothpaste (it makes me nauseated). Buy natural, fennel or licorice toothpaste from the health food store, and brush your teeth after eating something.
- DO NOT chug water or any liquids. There is plenty of time in the day to drink excessive amounts of water, and this is NOT the time to do it if you want to keep them from 'projectiling' back out of your body.
- Make yourself food for about 4 people. eat all of it, then take your vitamins with a small amount of freezing cold water.
- If you are feeling queasy turn on fans for air circulation, sit down, take slow breaths, and hold your breath for a while too.
AFTERNOON/AT WORK:
- Keep cold water by you at all times. If you have a work fridge keep a second water bottle in there that's cold and rotate them out if you have to.
- Keep a desk fan going. Keeping the air circulating helps keep the nausea at bay.
- Open office windows by your desk if you can- the more fresh air the better.
- Stand up, walk around, and go outside for short breaks.
- If your eyes are bothering you, or you are getting headaches, get your eyes examined. Your sight can change with pregnancy and if you are staring at a computer all day and have headaches, that will irritate and cause more nausea.
- Take deep, slow breaths.
- Drink Licorice tea *Peppermint tea I over-used with my nausea symptoms to the point that I can now only associate it with nausea.
- Keep fresh fruit and nuts around to snack on. Also keep snack bars in your purse or car for your commute to work, and home from work.
AFTERNOON/NOT AT WORK:
- Sleep as much as possible.
- Eat as much as possible.
- Drink lots of freezing cold water.
- Do not get sun-burnt.
EVENING:
- Eat whatever you can. Avoid sugar, and anything that you are having aversions from. Eat what sounds good. If that means 3 baskets of strawberries, eat 3 damn baskets of strawberries!
- Be lazy, relax, try to nap, and not over-do it. Don't feel guilty, your body is working very hard on the inside.
- Eat anything you can right before bed.
Update: What also helps me:
- as much love and cuddle time as possible! Cats, dogs, husband, its all good.
- NOT talking about nausea - get your mind onto something else- anything else
- avoid electronic screens (put away ipads, iphones, get away from all computers as much as possible, turn off the tv).
- Again, lots of puppy and kitten snuggle time!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Shaking Like a Leaf
I told my boss today. I was so nervous, and had been eager to finally tell him, but also hesitant, as its kind of scary. I don't know why it is, it shouldn't be, but it is a scary thing, telling your employer you value your family in the United States. Especially as a woman. Its odd really in this "First World" (ugh I hate that expression) country, that there is so little love for mamas.
I am so grateful, and feel so lucky that I will have the support, love, and financial security that my husband and I have wholeheartedly worked very hard at for the past decade we have been together with our own, bodies and bank accounts. But that's with no help of the government we pay our taxes to, or our employers that we have given 20-50+ hours a week to since we have both respectively been 14 years old and paying our taxes. Whoa, I just realized that I've been earning a living for more than half of my life. And that doesn't include the dog walking, cat feeding/watching, and babysitting that I did for several years before that.
Any way, its really alarming to me, and was one of the reasons I tried to be an Ex-Pat in England. Too bad, I fell in love hard and had to move back to beautiful San Francisco and kill that dream. Haha, anyway, seriously though. Its really outrageous. Health and Education should be our first priorities as a country. Not guns and money for the rich. Look at this list of best and worst developed countries to have a child I found here:
Or this chart of maternity benefits I found here. The US has ZERO mandated paid days off for woman who gave birth:
I am so grateful, and feel so lucky that I will have the support, love, and financial security that my husband and I have wholeheartedly worked very hard at for the past decade we have been together with our own, bodies and bank accounts. But that's with no help of the government we pay our taxes to, or our employers that we have given 20-50+ hours a week to since we have both respectively been 14 years old and paying our taxes. Whoa, I just realized that I've been earning a living for more than half of my life. And that doesn't include the dog walking, cat feeding/watching, and babysitting that I did for several years before that.
Any way, its really alarming to me, and was one of the reasons I tried to be an Ex-Pat in England. Too bad, I fell in love hard and had to move back to beautiful San Francisco and kill that dream. Haha, anyway, seriously though. Its really outrageous. Health and Education should be our first priorities as a country. Not guns and money for the rich. Look at this list of best and worst developed countries to have a child I found here:
Or this chart of maternity benefits I found here. The US has ZERO mandated paid days off for woman who gave birth:
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Elastic Waistbands
Today I finally picked up some maternity clothes. My stretch jeans are no longer cutting it- or rather they are cutting too much into my lil round belly. Its amazing how much more comfortable I am in clothes that fit haha, and stretch. I picked up a nice pair of jeans for work, jean shorts, a couple maxi skirts (also can wear to work), some leggins, and a cute mini dress. The rest I will pick up at Buffalo exchange or Good Will. Luckily the whole, loose-flowy hippy look is in style so I shouldn't have any trouble finding some cute tops, and some more maxi and mini dresses that are stretch and will accomodate a big baby bump- and that I can wear after giving birth too.
I also ordered some day cream, and night oil online for my belly, but I'm still waiting for it to arrive. All natural and vegan of course. Can't wait to try them out. So I've been queasy still, but its slowly fading. I just have to stay ahead of it by keeping crackers in my night stand and eating them first thing when I wake up to put something in my stomach to settle it a bit. I also bought some Licorice tea which really has helped, as the peppermint tea that I was relying on when I was the most queasy I can now only associate with being queasy. HA. The licorice one helps a lot.
I'm hungry all the time and eat so much. We used to take trips to the grocery store every other week, and now its a weekly/bi-weekly necessity as I eat everything we buy almost immediately. My favorite treat lately are these really yummy strawberry lemonade popcycles from Whole Foods. I could honestly eat a whole box in one sitting.
The only non-vegan food craving I've had so far is for strong cheeses (brie, gouda, dry jack, extra sharp cheddar, asiago, and fresh parmesan). I've taken that as a sign to get more fats, nuts, calcium, oils, and salt. I made a really delicious creamy pesto the other night over whole wheat linguini with walnuts, pine nuts, EVOO, nutritional yeast, soyrizo, Daiya, braggs, and fresh basil, parsley, and cracked pepper. It was so rich and really satisfied my hunger.
I think its interesting how people tell me to stop being vegan and just eat cheese if I have a craving like that. Its like, well I also really crave a super cold beer and a bottle of wine- but I'm not going to drink through my pregnancy haha. I do believe that my body knows what it wants, but I also know that there is tons of nutrition in vegan foods, as my blood work has confirmed (I've had my bloodwork done twice since I've been pregnant- all with excellent results). I've always been very aware of my nutrition, and am even more so. No one needs to worry, I am probably eating better than most mothers, especially ones that drive through taco bell and mcdonald's. What's also kind of interesting, and that I just remembered recently, is that Jason's mom was vegan all throughout her pregnancy with Jason. And he's turned out all right :)
I'm also learning that as my mom and a few of my close friends who are parents have told me, is that when you're pregnant EVERYONE wants to give you advice- rather, they want to TALK AT YOU with their experiences haha. Its understandable. To go through motherhood, there is a lot of emotion, body, blood, love, experience, and time involved. And I don't mind listening, some of what I've heard has been really interesting, some of it helpful, however a lot of what I hear doesn't really have anything to do with me- its more a chance for other people to talk about themselves. I know what is best for me and my body, my baby, and how I want to raise my child - because that's just it, this is MY child. I am definitely learning as I go, and take all of the advise with a grain of salt, and choose what works for me, for us. Its just funny, because when I imagine myself changing places and offering my own advice if the roles were reversed, I would never try to force my vegan lifestyle on other mothers, or tell them to change their lives and morals when they are carrying their baby because its how I feel, and how I live. I mean I am a total advocate for veganism, vegan pregnancy, vegan nutrition, and vegan babies, as my doctor, and midwives also support my path and agree I'm 100% healthy and better off than lots of other non vegans. I really feel so strongly about this life choice that I've made, but what's awesome is that I have that choice to make- as I think everyone should have the choice to live the way they feel is best for them.
Its a good exercise in patience to just let people go through their stories, and take it as an initiation to a membership of a club that I'm happy to be a part of. One thing though, for anyone out there reading, as a new mama, the best thing that I have heard anyone say to me came from my best friend. She has been the only one who has asked me questions that were truly focused on me and my experience. With genuine curiosity and concern for my wellbeing. She was truly interested in what I am going through, which aside from of course my mom, dad, and sister, no one else really has made me feel that way. I suppose that kind of care and interest can only be found in a true BFF. Thanks for that, I miss you Colleen! xoxoxo
I also ordered some day cream, and night oil online for my belly, but I'm still waiting for it to arrive. All natural and vegan of course. Can't wait to try them out. So I've been queasy still, but its slowly fading. I just have to stay ahead of it by keeping crackers in my night stand and eating them first thing when I wake up to put something in my stomach to settle it a bit. I also bought some Licorice tea which really has helped, as the peppermint tea that I was relying on when I was the most queasy I can now only associate with being queasy. HA. The licorice one helps a lot.
I'm hungry all the time and eat so much. We used to take trips to the grocery store every other week, and now its a weekly/bi-weekly necessity as I eat everything we buy almost immediately. My favorite treat lately are these really yummy strawberry lemonade popcycles from Whole Foods. I could honestly eat a whole box in one sitting.
The only non-vegan food craving I've had so far is for strong cheeses (brie, gouda, dry jack, extra sharp cheddar, asiago, and fresh parmesan). I've taken that as a sign to get more fats, nuts, calcium, oils, and salt. I made a really delicious creamy pesto the other night over whole wheat linguini with walnuts, pine nuts, EVOO, nutritional yeast, soyrizo, Daiya, braggs, and fresh basil, parsley, and cracked pepper. It was so rich and really satisfied my hunger.
I think its interesting how people tell me to stop being vegan and just eat cheese if I have a craving like that. Its like, well I also really crave a super cold beer and a bottle of wine- but I'm not going to drink through my pregnancy haha. I do believe that my body knows what it wants, but I also know that there is tons of nutrition in vegan foods, as my blood work has confirmed (I've had my bloodwork done twice since I've been pregnant- all with excellent results). I've always been very aware of my nutrition, and am even more so. No one needs to worry, I am probably eating better than most mothers, especially ones that drive through taco bell and mcdonald's. What's also kind of interesting, and that I just remembered recently, is that Jason's mom was vegan all throughout her pregnancy with Jason. And he's turned out all right :)
I'm also learning that as my mom and a few of my close friends who are parents have told me, is that when you're pregnant EVERYONE wants to give you advice- rather, they want to TALK AT YOU with their experiences haha. Its understandable. To go through motherhood, there is a lot of emotion, body, blood, love, experience, and time involved. And I don't mind listening, some of what I've heard has been really interesting, some of it helpful, however a lot of what I hear doesn't really have anything to do with me- its more a chance for other people to talk about themselves. I know what is best for me and my body, my baby, and how I want to raise my child - because that's just it, this is MY child. I am definitely learning as I go, and take all of the advise with a grain of salt, and choose what works for me, for us. Its just funny, because when I imagine myself changing places and offering my own advice if the roles were reversed, I would never try to force my vegan lifestyle on other mothers, or tell them to change their lives and morals when they are carrying their baby because its how I feel, and how I live. I mean I am a total advocate for veganism, vegan pregnancy, vegan nutrition, and vegan babies, as my doctor, and midwives also support my path and agree I'm 100% healthy and better off than lots of other non vegans. I really feel so strongly about this life choice that I've made, but what's awesome is that I have that choice to make- as I think everyone should have the choice to live the way they feel is best for them.
Its a good exercise in patience to just let people go through their stories, and take it as an initiation to a membership of a club that I'm happy to be a part of. One thing though, for anyone out there reading, as a new mama, the best thing that I have heard anyone say to me came from my best friend. She has been the only one who has asked me questions that were truly focused on me and my experience. With genuine curiosity and concern for my wellbeing. She was truly interested in what I am going through, which aside from of course my mom, dad, and sister, no one else really has made me feel that way. I suppose that kind of care and interest can only be found in a true BFF. Thanks for that, I miss you Colleen! xoxoxo
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Pep in my Step
So, I thought that the second trimester is supposed to be the carefree fun stage! Still vomiting in the morning, and still tired, and have food aversions (though less aversions than I did before - I do have somewhat of an appetite again thank goddess and goodness), though it still feels like eating is a chore, and a personal challenge to consume as much as possible even if its force feeding myself. Ugh, so much nausea! Baby is really having a party in there, must be listening to a lot of A.W.K. "Hey Mom! Party till you PUKE!" I hope at least (s)he is having fun. I have a lil riot girl in my tummy (or boy?!) I'm so counting down to May 14th when we can find out the gender, and though I've already started our registry (on amazon.com), and added some cute lil clothing pieces for boy or girl (a tuxedo bib!, and fake skater shoes - socks! - I DIE omg, so cute)... I want to focus more of my mind on mining for the perfect name gems and work on the name combos. Do we hyphenate? Make a middle name out of one last name? Make up a new last name for all of us? Ha. Decisions... decisions... can't I just skip to the end and hold my baby in my arms now please?
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Body Image Expectations
Every day when I wake up the first thing I do is run to the bathroom (luckily no longer hover over the toilet/sink gagging), and look at my stomach. Hoping to see a bigger and bigger bump.
Its really incredible, especially as a lady, to want so bad to NOT be thin. Its the first time in my life when I haven't been self conscious about holding in my waist, hoping to look as slender as possible because that's what our society has pushed on my generation of young girls and women to look like rulers and not pears.
As a woman, though I feel like I'm pretty confident with my body, there are still a lot of pressures, subconscious or not to look a certain (skinny) way. But our bodies as women were designed with the ability to carry life, and be plump, and round and curvy. We need to celebrate this MORE! Thank you to all the Dove soap commercials for doing this publicly and mainstream, making the idea that women are not made out of magazines, but out of vaginas- not cookie cutters, like everyone else. Theres still a long way to go but its a start. I've always felt that women are beautiful and regardless of their sizes but now more than ever I'm really feeling such a need to celebrate the female body as I'm witnessing mine change so dramatically.
Come on girls! Love your shapes! Our bodies come in all sizes and are incredible vessels of blood, and bones, and life and brains. Sending love out to all my ladies. We are awesome and beautiful, all of us, don't forget it!
Its really incredible, especially as a lady, to want so bad to NOT be thin. Its the first time in my life when I haven't been self conscious about holding in my waist, hoping to look as slender as possible because that's what our society has pushed on my generation of young girls and women to look like rulers and not pears.
As a woman, though I feel like I'm pretty confident with my body, there are still a lot of pressures, subconscious or not to look a certain (skinny) way. But our bodies as women were designed with the ability to carry life, and be plump, and round and curvy. We need to celebrate this MORE! Thank you to all the Dove soap commercials for doing this publicly and mainstream, making the idea that women are not made out of magazines, but out of vaginas- not cookie cutters, like everyone else. Theres still a long way to go but its a start. I've always felt that women are beautiful and regardless of their sizes but now more than ever I'm really feeling such a need to celebrate the female body as I'm witnessing mine change so dramatically.
Come on girls! Love your shapes! Our bodies come in all sizes and are incredible vessels of blood, and bones, and life and brains. Sending love out to all my ladies. We are awesome and beautiful, all of us, don't forget it!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Weird Dreams
I've been having the most vivid and bizarre dreams these past few months. I never thought I would be one of those people who couldn't watch scary things before bed (I love zombies, and horror, and weird tv)... but lately I can't. Because of this, we are behind two episodes on The Walking Dead. Our plan is to watch all three this weekend (with the season finale). But you know, in the afternoon.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Deep Breaths, Relax
So I found out that I CAN take baths and go in hot tubs, but I should not go into any water that is over 100 degrees. My midwife said this is because my veins right now our majorly expanded, rushing all the new red blood cells and other nutrients to building a new little person. If I get into too hot of water, than I can expand my veins even MORE which will make me pass out/ feel faint. Not good.
The same idea goes towards sun bathing. But most of all, she said that do what feels best. I may find that like I used to lay in the sun might not be comfortable anymore when my body's changing. But if it feels okay, then I'm okay. (Makes so much sense).
Also all the midwives I've spoken to hate, "What to Expect When you Expecting." Haha. I think that's really funny, as its the book I read first, and the one that everyone tells you to read. But their idea is that it focuses a lot on the negative, and what could go wrong, rather than focusing on the positive and what's good *rather than the worst case scenarios. Which I understand. I will say that I did learn a few things from it, but I agree too.
I will say, that though I'm excited, and feel like I'm preparing the best I can, I know that I can't plan it all out. I can know what I want to happen, how I want it to happen, and who is there with me, but nature is a wild beast and will do what she pleases. I need to let go of the idea of planning ahead (at least to the extreme that I'm accustomed to), and be open to whatever may come.
The same idea goes towards sun bathing. But most of all, she said that do what feels best. I may find that like I used to lay in the sun might not be comfortable anymore when my body's changing. But if it feels okay, then I'm okay. (Makes so much sense).
Also all the midwives I've spoken to hate, "What to Expect When you Expecting." Haha. I think that's really funny, as its the book I read first, and the one that everyone tells you to read. But their idea is that it focuses a lot on the negative, and what could go wrong, rather than focusing on the positive and what's good *rather than the worst case scenarios. Which I understand. I will say that I did learn a few things from it, but I agree too.
I will say, that though I'm excited, and feel like I'm preparing the best I can, I know that I can't plan it all out. I can know what I want to happen, how I want it to happen, and who is there with me, but nature is a wild beast and will do what she pleases. I need to let go of the idea of planning ahead (at least to the extreme that I'm accustomed to), and be open to whatever may come.
Dopler!
Heartbeat on the Dopler today! 150 of the cutest little beats per minute. Scheduled the anatomical ultrasound for 6 weeks out. Counting down...
Monday, April 1, 2013
Protein for Vegan Mamas to Be and Baby
I don't think its just because I'm vegan (or maybe it is), but I've already had several people remind me to be eating lots of protein. Just to share where you can get your cruelty-free, animal-free, vegan protein that is 100% guaranteed to properly feed and and help my new little baby grow this is what I'm eating a lot of:
- beans/legumes
- nuts
- whole wheat
- whole grains
- Tofu
- Vegan "meats" such as wheat sausage, seitan, tempe, soyrizo etc...
- Quinoa
- brown rice
and of course TONS and TONS of Kale, leafy greens, and fresh raw fruits and veggies (Avocado included). Did you know that Kale has more protein per calorie than any of the things I mentioned above? Kale RULES!
I read a book called, The Everything Vegan Pregnancy Book, which basically told me a lot of nutritional stuff that I already knew, but lists TONS of amazing, healthy, recipes in the back tailored for mamas to be. I'm excited to get crackin' on her list!
Vegan Baby Power!
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