Fire Crotch

I made it to yoga last night. Weeknights are more of a challenge to get there, as I need to have Jason home from work, get dinner on the table, and leave the house in time to get to the birth center before class starts at 7- and the past couple weeks Jason's had to work late, and I've missed the boat (or mat). Jason came home early though after working off site yesterday, which was awesome. So happy to be there last night, and have Sarah teach again. She taught Thursday nights with my first pregnancy and I loved her classes so much, after I had my baby and went back to work, I had my office hire her to teach in office yoga which was so awesome too. She's great! Kind of like de ja vu being at the birth center in these classes again. Nothing much has changed, but they replaced the carpets.

There were 6 of us there last night, all of which were much further along than me, one mom was 41 weeks and 3 days. Many of them I gathered were regulars at Sarah's classes and I could see how they had bonded together which makes me love being around this community of strong women, and be a part of it again. Every class, we start by going around the room and say our name, how many weeks, and if there's anything going on in our bodies to be aware of, or request to focus on. A couple moms were talking about experiencing some, "fire crotch." Another mom in yoga last Saturday mentioned this too. And I'm like, quietly sitting there, thinking, "what???" haha. I vaguely remember from last time around that there can be a sensation of discomfort as your pelvis starts to loosen and get ready to open for baby, but is that fire crotch? It was something that had been talked about in classes that I wasn't there for, since everyone was nodding their heads in understanding for these moms. "Oh yes, fire crotch, don't worry, you've got this."

In my mind I imagined all of us super mamas giving birth with vaginas as flame throwers delivering babies who are born wearing metallic capes and tiny masks. Wa-pow! Power to our fire crotches! Anyway, I'll ask next class.

Update: My yoga teacher wrote me to clarify, " Fire crotch is spd. Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. It's pregnancy induced pubic instability, pain, and discomfort at the the symphysis pubis joint and/or the sacro iliac joint. Something like 50-60% of women have some discomfort here throughout their pregnancy but for a few it can be very intense."

15 Week Checkup

I went in for my 15 week check up at the birth center, and it was such a great surprise to see today's midwife on rotation, was Samantha. She helped with my care last time and I really like her energy, humor and expertise. She even remembered details from my birth story - which was 3 years ago (almost), which impressed me but what she said stuck in her mind was that it was such an impressive first birth - a big baby, 9 lbs 9 oz, a water delivery all natural, and Cat (student midwife, and my yoga teacher caught her) with no complications. Plus the 3 lbs placenta. Anyway, its really nice to have that familiarity, I feel like the birth center is a space created for moms that can feel like its a second home.

We talked about how I was feeling, and for the most part I'm not as exhausted as I was the first trimester, still some nausea, but drinking a protein shake with dinner has helped, and just constantly eating and snacking (which is exhausting to keep up with, but I pay later with vomit if I don't keep it up). We talked about how I was feeling emotionally, and in talking with her I realized, that I'm probably the happiest I've been in the last decade - I can't remember the last time I had time to myself to recharge and nourish my creativity, my space and alone time, read, write, practice my arts and nap. It feels amazing, and I also told her how I'm trying not to feel guilty about that. To just enjoy this time while it lasts, because when baby comes, as I know everything again will change.

Baby's heartbeat was ticking along enthusiastically, and we could hear movement too - so far this baby seems to be a very active little sprout. I still don't have any intuition whether we're having a boy or girl, but we have 4-5 more weeks before we schedule the ultrasound to find out. I'll keep Joss out of school and have Jason there with us too. We're all really looking forward to it.

My blood work all came back perfect, and my iron levels were not only beyond average and good, but they were excellent. Fuck yeah, vegan! No anemia here with this plant strong mama. All-in-all a great check up and in a couple weeks I start centering and get to meet the other parents who will be having babies in February. Already getting excited for that reunion picture of all our little ones lined up on the couch, after all of us moms are on the other side of the pregnancy tunnel and know the details of how our birth stories went. It goes by so damn fast. I need to remember to slow down, and enjoy the here and now.

The Adventure Continues

My second pregnancy. Everything seems to be speeding along with the second one, I am now at 15 weeks and this is my first entry on my journey into a new unknown motherhood, a motherhood of having multiple children. My belly seems to have grown much quicker this time, my muscles and internal organs already knowing where to go, what to do to make room inside... My nausea continues, but hopefully stops soon - I am eating as much protein as possible this time to avoid sickness, which includes nuts, seeds, vegan protein shakes, hemp powder, tofu, kale, moringa, tempeh, beans, and more beans.

My daughter is now just shy of 3 years old and every day she amazes me. I think to myself, "This was my baby, this was the life that grew inside me, kicking my intestines when I ate spicy food, and laughing for the first time when daddy was cooking and hit the side of the pan with a wooden spoon." And now she is a tall, strong, independent, courageous, hilarious, kind, and willful little girl with long wild curly hair. There are moments when I look at her, towering over her preschool classmates with more hair than most of them combined, and I can't believe she is still only 2 years old. She looks like she could pass for 4 or 5, and regularly does when we are out in public- with her full sentences, manners & etiquette, insightful reflections, and confident perseverance. A lot of which I give credit to her Montessori school, but also its who she is. So much of her personality is her own, the jokes she tells (which are hilarious - two favorites are the one about the stinky watermelon, and molly - our cat's tail).

Soon she will be a big sister, and not the only child under our roof. We talk a lot about the baby in my tummy, and she hugs my belly and tells the baby how much she loves "her" (we won't know gender for a few more weeks), and to remember not to pull the cats' tails! So much of my life has been wonderfully consumed in being Jocelyn's mom, and now I am learning how to return to my self, my body, and looking inward to grow new life, and become a mother again to our new little Valentine due February 2017.

I am still 100% vegan, my daughter is and has been 100% vegan, and our new baby will be as well. Through out all of our wellness checkups, my daughter has been upper 90 and 100% for weight, height, and head size, flourishing and being nourished with a plant-strong diet. She loves her veggies, beans, grains, nuts, fruits, tofu, and daily green smoothies. With proper nutrition children, people of all ages can thrive with the vegan lifestyle.

We have continued to not post any photos of our daughter online, and also choose not to post any photos of baby #2. Some friends and family understand, and some still think we're strange but we're okay with that. Overall, I'm hoping that our children will appreciate our choice later and have their autonomy to what images they can curate online for their internet personas.

In the meantime, I am continuing to practice prenatal yoga, and will attend my first centering class at our birth center in the next couple weeks for my prenatal care. This time around I am a stay at home mom, and with Joss in preschool I have time to focus again inward, and take care of my body and my baby. Soon Jocelyn will turn 3 and then I have a baby shower to plan again, Christmas, and soon there after February will bring our new bundle. Time sure ticks by, and I'm trying to enjoy every moment as it comes.